"I Wanted Not To Forget The Past But To Break It's Hold" Bell Hooks
As a child during my Elementary and Junior High years I carried a strong hate and dislike for my Father. Never wanting to talk or hear about his where about, I hid behind a shell acting as if my true feelings didn’t bother me. Always asked to make special Father's day cards during my years in Catholic School, I disliked that fact I didn't have a story to tell or a fatherly figure there to assure me everything was ok. Feeling as if all I had was my mom, that in which played both roles of dad, and mom, when asked a question about my dad I would always reply he was dead or correct them calling him just the sperm donor. Unsure if he was alive or dead in my mind I tried to block out the thought of him, and his reasons of not being there for me.
After years of hatred, and pain it began to reflect in my attitude. At times thinking it was my fault and at times blaming it on others I began to become a cold hearted person, not caring about much or people feelings. As I continued to get older I separated the negative from the positive, and became a better person, not wanting to carry the negative emotions of pain, and stress. Happily at the age of 14 I was blessed with the chance to have a relationship with my dad. Lost of words, at first I was scared and unaware of what to believe but later gave him a chance. Giving him a chance I was happy that I finally had the chance to hug, and feel loved from my dad. Not forgetting the things he didn't do but learning to forgive and break the hold it had on me I later was told he was currently on, and been waiting for a kidney donor. Diagnosed with kidney failure years before reuniting, he didn’t want to test his children for a match leaving them in harm ways, so he just kept the faith, and waited for a match. Dieing shortly before it was announced a match was found I took it hard, but realized it was God who wanted my negative outlooks cleared, before he called my dad home to heaven.
I know this was hard to share. I got that same tone from Bell Hooks in her essay about talking about the past from you as well. At the beginning of your story I felt this tightness like when hatred holds you back and at the end I felt you released it. Well done!
I thought this was a good story! you did a good job expressing how you feel, I did not find any errors. I honestly think this was well written...keep up the good work and im glad that you was able to learn to for give and move forward.
I really enjoyed reading your piece especially you mentioning towards the end that as you got older you seperated the positive from the negative. I think that this is very important as we develop into young adults. I found no grammatical erros and this was really fun to read.
Loved it. Job well done. It was well detailed and love the tone throughout your piece.It was nice that you solve the hatred between your father before he passed and accept my condolences. Keep up the good work.
I really like your story. there's people who go through what you going through about hating their father. but an important thing to realize is that hate can never be forever. it can take a long time to get rid of that hate but in time that feeling wont be there any more